Monday, September 11, 2006

Dear Melissa

There are two things in life that seem to be inhumane. One of them is war. How could you kill someone else, when deep down you know they have family, and love the company of a woman, just as any man would. They have good memories of thier childhood, and love thier moms. Yet we kill each other. The secound creulity of life, is one founded right here in America. That is our dating system. You see, the very relationship that is supposed to be closer than that of our own father and mother, is auditioned and tried casually as if it were choosing the color of your car. So wrong, so defective of the world God created for us in the begining.

I don't understand these things, but I have no choice but to respect them. I have once again fallen victim to the system that snags us all. I had fallen for Miss Admirable yet in the end you turned out to be nothing but a image of both of our imaginations. Supposivly the "real truth" prevailed, and what we had, that magnificant attraction, fell to ashes in a matter of minutes. What's the "real truth", I have no idea. Perhaps it's that you never liked me. Perhaps it' that your a fake, or perhaps that your a flirt. Perhaps it was that you were just using me, or I was a confort guy until Alex became avalable. I'm not really sure what to think, and never will. Perhaps you don't care if I ever have a closure of why this all happened. You don't call me, so I guess you just don't give a damn.

So those times you said you always wanted to keep in touch, and that you valued me as a person....a complete lie. Or perhaps, not...I'm not sure. Why would someone who is innocent flee from the scene, never to be heard of again? I've heard nothing of you, and it does nothing good for a fair assumption about you.

This is my last messege to you ever that I instigate. Only if you contact me first will I talk back. Sure you're free to call, but know I don't know your number. I never memorized it, and that paper you gave me in the maze with your number...it's burned to ashes. That was the death of us. That was the beginning up in flames. All photos, all notes, all facebook items or connections...completely deleted. I couldn't even call you or check your profile if I wanted to.

I could be mad at you, but considering you don't exist, I can't. I'm not mad, and in fact, I just had a great first in my life. I had a great moment where I learned i have something I never knew I had, and was a sort of birth of a new chapter in my life. My calling is now becoming clearer and clearer and it's extreamly exciting. I've also had a record co move some of it's gear to my house, and gives me a huge advantage to use the gear for the production of my music. It's seems as if all roads lead to Rome. All areas are coming together to form my Mission.

Melissa, I'm not angry at you. In fact, I'm just disapointed that I thought you were someone you weren't. I have no idea who this guy is, but I would pray that this relationship encourages your faith and walk with God. Please know that that relationship tops all others, and none is worth it for that sacrifice of the heavenly father love. The world is a crewl place, and I know this. I'm just a victum of a beautful woman. At least I know I have the ability, yet keeping someone of your stature is a task only you can control. What's beauty without self control, or wisdom to know which men are flirting, and which ones can truely love. What's your beauty if you end up being a flirt. Please don't go down that road, you have so much going for you.

If I knew that the last time I saw you was on your front porch, I would have driven away a little slower. I would have charished it more.

There's nothing I can do. I'll pry never see you again, and there's no pysical proof that you ever existed. Only in my memories will there be any recolection. Even my memories are beginning to fade.

Perhaps one day we will see each other when we are both 40. I will hope to hear of your prosporus life, and a loving family.

Best regards,
Ryan

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